It took me a long time to realize that if you want to change your life, you have to start with your habits and routines. Developing good habits and quitting toxic habits is the right step if you want to live a happier life.
Habits are the tasks or behaviors we have to help us reach an end goal. Every morning when you shower, you are actually practicing a habit. In this case a good habit. While it’s always a good thing to have good habits in place, most of us are plagued by our toxic habits, which is no good!
In order to work towards living a happier life, you should reflect on where you are now and where you want to be. Do you have any good routines or habits in place? Are you actively working towards your goals or vision? Do your habits actually align with your goals?
It doesn’t matter how you answered those questions, but that you just start to.
Before I set new personal goals, I think of what I’m currently doing that will help me achieve that goal. And i think of the habits that really aren’t doing me much good in the first place.
When I decided to go for my MBA, I started to think of what I would need to do in order to get accepted into a program and begin my graduate career.
At the time, I was in my mid 20’s and I was partying a lot and hanging out with friends every weekend. And sometimes in into the wee hours of the morning…
While it was fun, I knew that these weren’t habits I could hold on to while I was in school. And it didn’t’ help me get ready for a life of working full-time and going to grad school. I had to leave some of these habits in the past so I could better work towards my future.
So the first step is all about reflection. Reflecting on your good and bad habits and being mindful of how it can impact your life negatively.
You may not realize, but we all pick up habits throughout the course of our lives. Some are bad, some are good. It’s time to identify the difference and make changes accordingly! You want to establish good habits so that no matter what happens, you are more prepared and ready to achieve your goals.
So let’s kick some of the bad habits so we can continue developing the good ones! I’ve made it simple—these are 10 habits that you should quit today to become your best self while achieving all of your goals!
Comparing Yourself to Others
Comparing yourself to others and what they are doing in their lives isn’t healthy for you. As a result, you may feel like you’re not doing enough or can be living better when in reality that is not always the case.
Teddy Roosevelt said it best. Comparison is the thief of joy. Don’t let others influence how you feel about you and your life.
With the rise of social media and technology in general, it can be really easy to fall into the trap of comparison. Social media should not be used as a barometer for how you’re doing. Honestly, it doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing as long as you’re happy with what YOU are doing.
Just focus on your journey and you’ll be way happier in the long run.
Not Believing In Yourself
While not always the easiest thing to do, it is so important to have self-confidence as it impacts everything you do.
Believing in yourself comes in more ways than one. It means believing in your skills, your abilities, your hobbies, passions, etc. You can pretty much do whatever it is you want in a nutshell, as long as you believe you can. You should strive to be your own biggest fan and encourage yourself even when you’re unsure of yourself.
It all happens though, we all have moments of insecurity but it doesn’t have to define you. Believing in yourself and instilling confidence in yourself is important steps to take in practicing self-care. So ignore any negativity and remind yourself of your positive attributes. You are more powerful than you think.
Related Post: 25 Self-Affirmations To Empower And Motivate You
Not Getting Enough Sleep
Sleep is so important not only for our physical health but also for our mental health. We need time to unplug, relax and rest up so don’t skimp out on your sleep.
I know that life can sometimes be chaotic but you should make it a priority to get enough sleep every night. Sleep allows our body and brains to rest and has great perks like lowering your risk for inflammation, depression, heart disease, and weight gain.
Not only should you try to get at least 8 hours of sleep each night, you should ensure you are getting rest every single day. Not just during the work week!
Sleeping also helps in improving focus and productivity. Both of which is crucial for becoming your best self and achieving all of your goals.
Not Having A Planner or Organizer
Adulting is pretty exhausting when you’re juggling a bunch of tasks and responsibilities. Between paying bills, going to school, or simply trying to survive, it can get really hectic. Having a planner or organizer can really help you to stay organized and on top of everything in front of you.
I purchased the Passion Planner this year and I really have enjoyed using it so far! It starts out with a passion roadmap that allows you to create a plan around one of your goals. You can then work towards it each month with sections to take notes and write down your to-do lists to achieve the goals.
I won’t lie though, I haven’t used it every day as I first intended to, because well life. But I do notice that when i use it consistently, I don’t feel so overwhelmed and i feel like i can actually get shit done!
I also purchased a dry-erase calendar for our fridge and that has been a huge help in tracking our goals and remembering the things we have to do. Try using an organizer, planner, calendar or all three to help you stay organized no matter how crazy life can get.
Having Notifications Enabled On Your Phone
This one is such toxic habit, especially having your social media notifications enabled! I have always have notifications enabled on my phone for pretty much everything. Every social media app, calls, texts, and even the news (this became draining this year as you can figure).
Don’t get me wrong, notifications for some things are fine on your phone but for the most part you don’t need it. Notifications can be intrusive and distracting if you’re trying to get anything done. Always feeling a vibration or seeing what’s going on elsewhere is a lot.
It can also be timely to go through notifications and clear them or engage with them. Your time is valuable and you don’t want to fill it with looking at notifications.
One way to reduce your screen time in general is to reduce the notifications you have. I have turned off all my notifications except phone (calls only) and emails. By doing this, I am now more present in the moment and less present with my phone.
But I get it. Most of us suffer from FOMO (fear of missing out), which can make it hard to kick some of these not so good habits. The thing to remember is you’re not missing out on anything when you’re focused on you. Literally not missing out on a THING.
Overworking Yourself In The Name of Productivity
Let me start by saying that working is a great thing because it gives us something to do and get paid, hello! But honestly we often over work ourselves in the name of productivity. We are consumed with higher pay and promotions that sometimes it turns us into being a slave for our jobs.
And it’s not just a few of us. Statistically speaking, the United States is a country that is overworked and also underpaid. Below are several reputable sources that show how overworked we are and how we have the most stress-related illnesses in comparison to other nations.
- The most overworked cities in the US might surprise you
- The U.S. is the Most Overworked Developed Nation in the World
- Why are Americans spending too much time at work?
So it is crucial to establish limits to your work and that includes work in your personal life. You don’t want to work yourself into burnout. That isn’t fun, trust me it sucks.
You want to work hard but you want to work from a place of clarity, rest and peace. By being overworked and feeling burnt out, you are operating from a negative space and that will assuredly impact how you handle things in your life.
Saying Yes to Everyone & Everything
It took me a long time to realize that I am a for sure a people pleaser and while that can be good at times, I had moments where I neglected myself more than I should. Saying yes to others meant that I always had to show up, be there for others, even if it took away from myself.
That my friends is terrible terrible habit to have.
So I quickly had to learn how to say no to others so I could say yes to myself more. You’re not being a jerk if you can’t do something that someone else needs because it interferes with what you need for yourself. Period.
I promise, it’s perfectly okay to say no to those dinner plans this weekend with your friends. It’s okay to say no to staying with your crazy family for the holidays because you know it will drive you insane. The point is to choose you as often as you can because you are just as important as everyone else, actually more important.
It’s also okay to say no to other people even if you don’t have a “reason”. You don’t need an excuse to choose yourself first in any moment and its actually better you don’t. Let’s normalize people practicing self-care without the negativity or guilt.
You come first and it’s perfectly okay to act like it!
Not Being Kind To Yourself
This is the time to tell that inner voice to shut up, seriously. Sometimes we don’t realize how mean or negative are when we are talking to ourselves. And a lot of the time it is self-sabotage and self-defeating. Both of which aren’t cool.
Try to talk to yourself in a way that is compassionate and shows empathy. If you make a mistake (which we all do), don’t kick yourself too much. Just brush yourself off and remind yourself that it happens, you’re human.
Speak to yourself the way you speak to your friends and family. Encourage yourself in the same ways and you will notice a positive shift in your mindset.
Also be patient with yourself. It’s hard to practice positive self-talk but it is necessary so that you can feel at your best mentally and emotionally. This is a toxic habit you need to quit because you should be your biggest advocate.
You can’t do that if you are being mean to yourself or undercutting yourself with the negative self-talk.
Feeling Guilty About Not Being Where You Want To Be
Sometimes I feel really proud of the accomplishments I have achieved but there are plenty of times where i feel guilty that I’m not where i “should be” or “could be”. Both are an illusion that honestly should be ignored.
You are exactly where you’re supposed to be at this moment and there’s beauty in that.
We often listen to and feel guilty when our lives don’t align with what society says we should have or where society says we should be at any given point in our life.
For example, I know some families that will hound the women about when they will get married or have kids (as if it is a requirement). The truth is, it doesn’t matter what others want, it matter what YOU want. You shouldn’t feel guilty that you don’t have things that you may not even want or need.
Feeling guilty will not help you get closer to the person you want to be or hitting your goals. In fact, it takes up energy that you can use to focus on what you should be proud of!
It’s important to remember that even though you are not where you want to be, you are not where you used to be and that is the most important lesson that I’ve learned in life. Focus on developing good habits and quitting the toxic ones! Be happy about your progress and thank yourself for all that you have done and will continue to do.
How has kicking toxic habits helped you live a happier and healthier life?